I write Women’s Fiction. Let’s just get that out of the way.

Women’s Fiction doesn’t have to have a female protagonist, but it does have to have an emotional journey. Men struggle with inner turmoil too. If you don’t believe me, check out An American Marriage by Tayari Jones. But male protagonists in Women’s Fiction are a topic for another post. Today I want to focus on love.

Recently, I asked someone if she would present my newest novel that I’m publishing in January to her book club. Her response took me aback.

‘Oh, they don’t read romance novels.’

‘I don’t write romance novels,’ I countered. (Could she tell I was hurt from my texted response?)

She texted back, ‘Well, your books are about love.’

I had to take a breath before I thanked her and moved on. Yet her comment rattled around in my brain. The book I’m about to publish, I’ll Be Seeing You, is about an emotionally fragmented Manhattan lawyer, a dead WWII soldier, an 82-year-old widow, and how their stories intertwine. Yes, there is love, in many of its glorious forms. But the genre romance? Nope.

What’s the Difference Between Women’s Fiction and Romance Novels?

The question is a valid one, so allow me to explain. The confusion stems from a fundamental misbelief that a romance novel and a novel about a woman (or man) drawing on inner strength and undergoing emotional growth, while also finding love, are the same thing.

Shout this from the rooftops: They are not!

While both genres deal with the beautiful, albeit messy reality of human connections, they operate from different literary blueprints. There is a humorous, loose saying rattling around the publishing industry that sums up the difference.

Romance ends with a wedding, but Women’s Fiction ends with the protagonist and her besties drinking mimosas over brunch.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Not all women’s fiction novels have the characters enjoying festive drinks on the porch. Think Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty.

But there is a kernel of truth to the statement.

The Ironclad Rule of the Romance Novel

A romance novel must, I repeat, must, end in a Happily Ever After (HEA). Or, at least, Happily For Now (HFN). This is the nonnegotiable, unspoken contract romance novel readers expect.

Also, in the romance genre, the romantic relationship is the plot. External obstacles, like an annoying boss, a family feud, a failing farm or bookstore, exist to test and ultimately strengthen the blossoming love between the two leads (be they a woman and a man, two men, or two women).

If you pull the love interest out of the book, the story collapses. If the couple separates or one of them dies, it may be a beautiful piece of fiction, but it is no longer a romance.

Hold on, Tinthia, you might be saying. The Notebook is a romance novel! This is how Nicholas Sparks describes The Notebook on his website: “… a deeply moving portrait of love itself, the tender moments, and fundamental changes that affect us all.”

What is a Love Story?

Ah, does that question make you think of the 1970 romantic novel by Erich Segal? I still cry when I watch the movie adaptation.

Notice what I wrote, though: a romantic novel, not romance novel. Love Story is a, well, a love story.

In a love story, romance is one piece of the larger narrative; a subplot, if you will. The protagonist’s goals have nothing to do with finding a partner. Instead, the protagonist is searching for a better life, like Shannon in my novel, Breaking the Rules. She was struggling to escape an abusive marriage while keeping her son safe. Or, the protagonist might be dealing with an empty nest, like my first protagonist, Annah, in A Midsummer’s Wish, who dealt with the emotional emptiness that resulted when her son moved across the world to live with his father.

Furthermore, a love story is under no obligation to hand you a neatly wrapped, happy ending. The ending is determined by what serves the protagonist’s long-term personal growth. The reason Women’s Fiction aligns with love stories rather than romance novels is that authors are rarely writing about just one kind of love.

Consider the book The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It is filled with love stories, but the core of the book is Evelyn’s personal evolution.

And that’s the distinction I want readers to understand about my own work. Sometimes my protagonist’s do find love, but the romantic relationship is not the central plot of my novels.

In I’ll Be Seeing You, love is at the heart of the story, but it isn’t a traditional romance. Ryan’s journey is about rediscovering his dignity and finding a reason to live beyond the life he’s built for himself. Connie’s story reminds us that love doesn’t necessarily end when life does. And somewhere between their two journeys, we discover that love can reach across generations, time, and even death.

That’s Women’s Fiction. It’s about the human heart, in all its complicated glory.

What is Love?

The ancient Greeks had multiple words for love, and in women’s fiction, authors are free to explore them all.

Eros (Romantic/passionate love): That heart-racing, chemical attraction that dominates traditional romance novels but is not the main theme of women’s fiction.

Philia (Deep Friendship): The love between friends. In women’s fiction, a woman’s, or man’s, relationship with someone other than a romantic partner is just as central to the protagonist’s journey.

Storge (Familial Love): The bond between parents, children and family that is full of history, obligation, and unconditional acceptance.

Philautia (Self-Love): To me, this is the heart of Women’s Fiction. It is a character learning about self-worth, and how to stand on one’s own feet.

In a pure romance novel, Eros is the undisputed queen, but in Women’s Fiction, a heroine’s (or hero’s) journey involves navigation of Storge (fixing family drama), might include Philia (leaning on or establishing deep friendships), and ultimately achieving Philautia (discovering one’s own strength).

The arrival of Eros might add a bit of spice to the pot, but it isn’t the main ingredient.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Let’s chat: Have you or your book club ever skipped a fantastic book because you thought it was ‘just a romance’? What is your favorite book that features a great love story but isn’t a traditional romance novel? Would your book club like to read my novels? Drop your responses in the comments and, please, follow me. I have many more stories to tell.