Author: tinthia

Wondering, searching, and wandering, I'm an earth witch with a desire to get it right in my lifetime. The flow of the river feeds my inner goddess and fuels my soul. Blessed be. :}

Women’s Fiction vs Romance: Understanding the Difference

~ tinthia ~ Leave a comment
Woman reading The Silent Echo in a cozy armchair beside a window

I write Women’s Fiction. Let’s just get that out of the way.

Women’s Fiction doesn’t have to have a female protagonist, but it does have to have an emotional journey. Men struggle with inner turmoil too. If you don’t believe me, check out An American Marriage by Tayari Jones. But male protagonists in Women’s Fiction are a topic for another post. Today I want to focus on love.

Recently, I asked someone if she would present my newest novel that I’m publishing in January to her book club. Her response took me aback.

‘Oh, they don’t read romance novels.’

‘I don’t write romance novels,’ I countered. (Could she tell I was hurt from my texted response?)

She texted back, ‘Well, your books are about love.’

I had to take a breath before I thanked her and moved on. Yet her comment rattled around in my brain. The book I’m about to publish, I’ll Be Seeing You, is about an emotionally fragmented Manhattan lawyer, a dead WWII soldier, an 82-year-old widow, and how their stories intertwine. Yes, there is love, in many of its glorious forms. But the genre romance? Nope.

What’s the Difference Between Women’s Fiction and Romance Novels?

Book without author name

The question is a valid one, so allow me to explain. The confusion stems from a fundamental misbelief that a romance novel and a novel about a woman (or man) drawing on inner strength and undergoing emotional growth, while also finding love, are the same thing.

Shout this from the rooftops: They are not!

While both genres deal with the beautiful, albeit messy reality of human connections, they operate from different literary blueprints. There is a humorous, loose saying rattling around the publishing industry that sums up the difference.

Romance ends with a wedding, but Women’s Fiction ends with the protagonist and her besties drinking mimosas over brunch.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Not all women’s fiction novels have the characters enjoying festive drinks on the porch. Think Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty.

But there is a kernel of truth to the statement.

The Ironclad Rule of the Romance Novel

A romance novel must, I repeat, must, end in a Happily Ever After (HEA). Or, at least, Happily For Now (HFN). This is the nonnegotiable, unspoken contract romance novel readers expect.

Also, in the romance genre, the romantic relationship is the plot. External obstacles, like an annoying boss, a family feud, a failing farm or bookstore, exist to test and ultimately strengthen the blossoming love between the two leads (be they a woman and a man, two men, or two women).

If you pull the love interest out of the book, the story collapses. If the couple separates or one of them dies, it may be a beautiful piece of fiction, but it is no longer a romance.

Hold on, Tinthia, you might be saying. The Notebook is a romance novel! This is how Nicholas Sparks describes The Notebook on his website: “… a deeply moving portrait of love itself, the tender moments, and fundamental changes that affect us all.”

What is a Love Story?

Ah, does that question make you think of the 1970 romantic novel by Erich Segal? I still cry when I watch the movie adaptation.

Notice what I wrote, though: a romantic novel, not romance novel. Love Story is a, well, a love story.

In a love story, romance is one piece of the larger narrative; a subplot, if you will. The protagonist’s goals have nothing to do with finding a partner. Instead, the protagonist is searching for a better life, like Shannon in my novel, Breaking the Rules. She was struggling to escape an abusive marriage while keeping her son safe. Or, the protagonist might be dealing with an empty nest, like my first protagonist, Annah, in A Midsummer’s Wish, who dealt with the emotional emptiness that resulted when her son moved across the world to live with his father.

Furthermore, a love story is under no obligation to hand you a neatly wrapped, happy ending. The ending is determined by what serves the protagonist’s long-term personal growth. The reason Women’s Fiction aligns with love stories rather than romance novels is that authors are rarely writing about just one kind of love.

Consider the book The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It is filled with love stories, but the core of the book is Evelyn’s personal evolution.

And that’s the distinction I want readers to understand about my own work. Sometimes my protagonist’s do find love, but the romantic relationship is not the central plot of my novels.

Coming January 2027

In I’ll Be Seeing You, love is at the heart of the story, but it isn’t a traditional romance. Ryan’s journey is about rediscovering his dignity and finding a reason to live beyond the life he’s built for himself. Connie’s story reminds us that love doesn’t necessarily end when life does. And somewhere between their two journeys, we discover that love can reach across generations, time, and even death.

That’s Women’s Fiction. It’s about the human heart, in all its complicated glory.

What is Love?

Drawing of a mother and child

The ancient Greeks had multiple words for love, and in women’s fiction, authors are free to explore them all.

Eros (Romantic/passionate love): That heart-racing, chemical attraction that dominates traditional romance novels but is not the main theme of women’s fiction.

Philia (Deep Friendship): The love between friends. In women’s fiction, a woman’s, or man’s, relationship with someone other than a romantic partner is just as central to the protagonist’s journey.

Storge (Familial Love): The bond between parents, children and family that is full of history, obligation, and unconditional acceptance.

Philautia (Self-Love): To me, this is the heart of Women’s Fiction. It is a character learning about self-worth, and how to stand on one’s own feet.

In a pure romance novel, Eros is the undisputed queen, but in Women’s Fiction, a heroine’s (or hero’s) journey involves navigation of Storge (fixing family drama), might include Philia (leaning on or establishing deep friendships), and ultimately achieving Philautia (discovering one’s own strength).

The arrival of Eros might add a bit of spice to the pot, but it isn’t the main ingredient.

Adding salt to a pot of soup

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Let’s chat: Have you or your book club ever skipped a fantastic book because you thought it was ‘just a romance’? What is your favorite book that features a great love story but isn’t a traditional romance novel? Would your book club like to read my novels? Drop your responses in the comments and, please, follow me. I have many more stories to tell.

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Discover Your Inner Strength: Simple Techniques for Resilience

~ tinthia ~ Leave a comment
Sleeping woman and tabby cat resting under a blanket on a sofa

Open any self-help book and you’ll find advice on finding your inner strength. But wait! You don’t have to travel to Barnes and Noble or your local library. If you have Google, just ask: “Hey Google, how do I find my inner strength?”

Google response: Here are ten ways to find inner strength……. (My Google nest gave me a list, along with a headache.)

Okay, I guess asking wasn’t a good idea. Let’s try typing the question into Google AI.

“How do I find inner strength?”

Google AI response: You find inner strength by cultivating your internal psychological and emotional resources through intentional, daily habits. True inner resilience—encompassing traits like patience, grit, and emotional intelligence—is built over time, similar to developing physical muscle.

OMG! What?

Google AI’s Advice for Finding Inner Strength

Because your brain naturally defaults to a negativity bias, you must actively “hardwire” positive traits into your mind. The most effective, expert-backed strategies to tap into and grow your inner strength include: 1. Hardwire your positive experiences, 2. Practice healthy emotional processing, 3. Cultivate self-refuge, 4. Identify and track your hidden resources, 5. Sit with your feelings, 6. List your micro-skills…….

What the heck is a micro-skill?

Seriously. A micro-skill? Does brushing my teeth count? I can feel my inner strength waning just reading the list. This all seems way too hard. Isn’t there an easy way to channel my inner warrior, reach my goals, and conquer the day without earning a degree in psychology first?

I mean, seriously, all these actions imply that I need to act like a phoenix rising fiercely from the flames. But let’s be real about the mythology here. People always equate the phoenix to some majestic, fierce creature with flames beautifully licking its outstretched wings. The reality is quite the opposite. When the phoenix is on fire, it is dying! D Y I N G! And from the pile of ash you’re left with a small, pathetic, weak hatchling.

Two cartoon birds, one singing and the other looking unamused, followed by an image of a fire with flames, and then a cloud of smoke that rises with a bird emerging from it.
sykomedia.wordpress.com

Not exactly warrior territory.

Being a Warrior When Life is Tiring

Look, I love a good phoenix transformation as much as the next person, but can we be honest for a second? Some days, my inner warrior doesn’t want to conquer a single thing. I’m talking about the days when life is just too damn tiring; when starting over or digging deep for resilience feels like moving a boulder up a mountain.

Tattoo of a muscular figure pushing a large boulder uphill, representing struggle and perseverance.
Sisyphus with his boulder, poor guy.

Inner Warrior Starter Pack

Over the years I’ve come to accept that true strength doesn’t need to turn us into a solar flare. Sometimes, that strength bubbles up quietly, like a comforting pot of soup simmering on the stove. Or visit with Ben & Jerry. (They have never once offered a negative comment on my flannel pajamas.)

If you are just too plain tired to burst into flames today, you don’t need a psychology textbook. You just need a softer approach. Here is my unofficial Inner Warrior Starter Pack. Guarunteed to work and you won’t need to go back to college.

  • Hug your pet. If you don’t have a pet, go outside and hug a tree. (The tree won’t look at you weirdly, promise).
  • Inhale the comfort. Make yourself a warm cup of tea or coffee, and actively breathe in the aroma before you even take that first sip.
  • Acknowledge your magic. Write down one thing you have done in your life that is truly amazing. Once you see it on paper, challenge yourself to write down four more.
  • Take a five-minute pause. Sit quietly for just five minutes and focus entirely on your breathing. Feel the air moving in and out of your lungs. Now thank your lungs.
  • Take a nap. Preferably with a cozy blanket and a cat purring on your lap.

True resilience isn’t about being a superhero every hour of the day. Sometimes, the most warrior-like thing you can do is admit you are spent, and you will try again tomorrow.

Over to you:

What does your inner warrior want to do today? Leave a comment below.

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